Silly Little Ways to Chill the F*** Out
Sometimes you just need to chill. And while we know you’re a VERY SERIOUS person, delving into your silly side can help when you need to chill. So here’s a collection of exercises that are sweet, simple, and a little goofy to help you calm down.
Breathe like a bear: This book by Kira Willey and Anni Betts may be written with kids in mind, but its chock full of adorable illustrations and different breathing patterns to try, and if you have little ones in your life, it’s a great opportunity to practice co-regulation
Square breathing breathe in for 4, hold for 4, exhale for 4, hold for 4 and repeat
Acupressure: Check out this video from Yasuko Kawamura, who shows you how to find GV 20, CV 17, and H 7.
Physiological sigh: two short inhales through your nose, one slow exhale through your mouth
Butterfly hug: place your hands in the shape of a butterfly over your sternum, and tap the wings one by one while gently pressing down
Alternate nostril breathing: Close your right nostril with your thumb and inhale through your left nostril and exhale through your left nostril. Then close your left nostril and breathe in through your right nostril and exhale through your right nostril. Alternate back and forth for at least 5-9 rounds of breathing.
Body double with someone who is already calm: Body doubling is a phrase coined by ADHD advocates to describe the phenomenon of working alongside someone else in order to complete tasks like homework or chores. Co-regulation also works for moods, find someone who’s already chill, bonus points if you can match your breathing to their breathing, if no one around you is chill, go find some chill people in a coffee shop, bookstore, or library.
Make an Instagram collection of silly little things that make you happy (we love fluffy cows (@ranchbythebeech), cobblers repairing shoes (@americascobbler), and the video of Tom Holland dancing to Rihanna on Lip Synch Battle)
5,4,3,2,1 technique: name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can feel, 3 things you can hear, two things you can smell, one thing you can taste
Sour candy: speaking of taste, try this tiktok viral strategy of eating a piece of sour candy, the unexpected taste can help redirect your brain, and as Betty White reminded us, you’re not you when you’re hungry. Our favorites are the Yum Earth Lollipops
Progressive muscle relaxation: A technique where you first tighten the muscles and then gradually relax them. You can try it with just your face, or with your whole body.
Movement snack: You don’t have to squeeze in a full workout if you’re not in the mood. Just a few minutes of moment, whether its holding a plank, pacing around your living room, hauling that 20lbs bag of kitty litter out of the basement, or strapping on your pleasers and trying to master the twisted sister, can be enough to reap the relaxation benefits
Mamalian diving reflex: The sensation of very cold water hitting our face sends a message to the vagus nerve, which controls the parasympathetic nervous system, leading to an involuntary reflex that includes our heartrate slowing down. You can go full on cold plunge, or dunk your face in a bucket of ice water. Your might want to see how your body feels about cold exposure by rubbing an ice pack on the back of your neck or chest first.
Dance it out: Christina and Meredith knew that sometimes you just need to dance it out. We love Blame it On Your Love, Hips Don’t Lie, the Song-a-long from Eurovision Song Contest: The Story of Fire, Let it Go from Frozen, and Surface Pressure from Encanto
Cry it out: Sometimes, when you’re feeling crummy, you just need to cry it out. Getting the tears flowing might be the thing you need to discharge your pent up energy and go about your day. For me, its page 748 in Kingdom of Ash when Asterin says “Live, Manon”, for Billie Eilish its watching Spirit
Watch something triumphant: is your anxiety being triggered by justice sensitivity? Watch something that reminds you of good triumphing over evil. Maybe it’s the moment when Sam says “on your left” ,when Éowyn says “I am no man” or when Captain Von Trapp rips up the NAZI flag.
Remember, chilling out doesn’t mean stifling your feelings, like those silly little therapists say, you’ve got to “feel it to heal it”. But since not every moment is available for deep reflection and cognitive restructuring, we hope this article helps you get through the day. And when you’re ready to do a deep dive on why you feel the way you do, reach out, The Pomegranate Institute would love to help you process!
Sarah Chotkowski, LICSW | Kink-Aware Therapist in Massachusetts
Based in Western Massachusetts, Sarah is a therapist who specializes in treating patients from erotically marginalized communities. She is queer, LGBTQIA+ affirming, kink-aware, pleasure-positive, and passionate about working with people who practice Ethical Non-Monogamy/Polyamory and folks who have been or are involved in sex work.
