Let's Get Wet: Everything you Ever Wanted to Know About Lube

Let’s dive right in and get wet, why would someone use lube? 

There’s a silly little myth out there that using lube indicates you or your partner aren’t sufficiently aroused or arousing, or that something is wrong with your body.  This couldn’t be further from the truth!   

When people with vulvas get aroused, blood vessels dilate so that more blood flows to the genitals, which prompts vaginal glands and mucous cells to secrete fluids.  The lubricant our bodies naturally produce can feel amazing, but the amount waxes and wanes and isn’t necessarily sufficient for fun, pain-free sex of all flavors. 

Factors like where we are in our menstrual cycle, menopause, using birth control pills or other medications, or just the thoughts swirling around in our own heads can impact our natural lubrication, regardless of how turned on we feel. 

AND not all kinds of sex involve parts of our body that lubricate naturally (hey anal sex!) and we want to be prepared for all bodies and opportunities we might encounter. 

Lube can also be an important part of your safer sex practice that helps reduce the risk of bleeding and tearing. 

There are 3 different types of lube each of which might be the best for different bodies having different kinds of sex under different circumstances. 

Water-based 

Water-based lubes generally get their texture from Aloe leaf gel or cellulose.  They rinse off easily, are less likely to stain, and won’t damage the integrity of condoms/dental dams/gloves, or silicone sex toys.  The downside is they get absorbed by the skin quickly, and need to be reapplied more frequently. 

Brands we love: 

Playground Love Sesh Water-Based Lubricant 

Good Clean Love Almost Naked Personal Lubricant 

Silicone-based 

 Silicone-based lubricants have a thicker consistency and tend to last longer, they are safe to use with condoms/dental dams/gloves, but should be avoided if you are incorporating sex toys made out of silicone.  If you want to still use sex toys, try ones made from stainless steel or glass.  Silicone-based products also carry a higher risk of staining. 

Brands we love: 

Swiss Navy premium silicone lubricant 

Maude’s Shine Silicone lubricant 

Oil-based 

These lubricants have one main downfall, they degrade latex (but not nitrile and polyurethane). 

If you want to reach into your pantry, give coconut oil or evening primrose oil a try 

If you’re in the mood to try something extra, consider: 

Überlube luxury lubricant: A silicone-based, hypoallergenic lubricant that comes in a beautiful glass bottle, and has adorable travel sizes. 

Quim’s Smooth Operator serum: water-soluble, latex-safe, and contains Hemp CBD and other ingredients designed to increase blood flow, promote pelvic relaxation and reduce pain. 

Revaree by Bonafide: a hyaluronic acid suppository for people with vulvas that can help address vaginal dryness, itching, burning, and painful intercourse.   

You’ve got a lot of great options to choose from, so how do you narrow it down? 

There are personal considerations and practical considerations.  Practical considerations like, what kind of sex are you having? Will you be using barrier methods? Sex toys? Having anal sex? This might steer you towards one type of lube over another. 

For folks who are actively trying to get pregnant, the Mayo Clinic recommends looking for lube that is hydroxyethylcellulose-based, PreSeed or ConceivePlus have several research-based studies behind them to support their claims that they are fertility friendly. 

Then there are personal preferences like: how does the texture feel? Smell? Taste? Sound of the bottle opening and closing? How easily does the bottle tip over, stay shut, or start to make weird squelchy noises half-way through your session? 

The good news, is you have lots of choices to find a lube that fits the bill for the sex you like to have and whatever other personal preferences are at play for you.  In general, we recommend looking for products that are free from parabens, phthalates, petrochemicals, GMOs, mineral oil, glycerin and anything that has a flavor, fragrance or warming ingredients.  This will steer you towards products least likely to provoke an allergic reaction.  If you have a specific allergy to work around, the website SkinSafe can help you check product ingredients against certain allergies. 

If you’re trying out a new product for the first time, the safest thing to do is patch test a small amount of lube on somewhere other than your genitals and wait a few hours to see if you have a reaction.  If not, give the product a try during solo sex, and then with a partner.   

How to keep lube out of your sheets, or deal with stains if it comes to that 



Using a lube shooter or a hands free lube dispenser can help make sure the lube is going exactly where you want it to go, and nowhere else. 

Keeping towels and wipes close by for easy cleanup and thinking about the material of your sheets can reduce the likelihood of stains.  Fabrics like cotton and linen are more likely to stain than something synthetic like microfiber.  We swear by Bella Coterie luxury bamboo sheets as being pretty stain resistant. 

If you do get lube on your sheets, baking powder can help absorb the stain, dish soap or sex toy cleaners can help lift the stain, and tossing your sheets in the wash right away is your best bet for making sure the stain doesn’t set. 

We hope this article has given you some fun ideas for having slippery, safer sex.  And if you’re interested in consulting with a pleasure-positive therapist about your sexual health, you can book a consult on our website