Why I Love Virtual Sex Therapy – A Massachusetts-Based Therapist Explains the Benefits
I didn’t always imagine myself working virtually. Like many therapists, I started my career face-to-face, with boxy chairs, weird office art, and a waiting room that smelled like stale coffee and staler cigarettes. But over time—and especially as the world changed—I found that something surprising happened when I moved my practice online: it got deeper, warmer, and more accessible.
As a sex therapist licensed in Massachusetts, I now work with clients all across the state: from small towns with no local therapists to busy parents who finally get to go to therapy without leaving the house. And I’ve come to believe, wholeheartedly, that virtual therapy isn’t just “good enough.” It can be really, really good.
Today on our blog I’m covering some of my favorite things about virtual therapy.
Accessibility: Online Sex Therapy Anywhere in Massachusetts
The Pomegranate Institute is based in Western Massachusetts, and Franklin, Hampshire, Hampden, and Berkshire counties are absolutely chock full of some wonderful therapists that I am lucky to call friends and colleagues. The state of Massachusetts actually has the highest number of therapists per capita, which is awesome, but doesn’t always translate into accessibility.
The American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT), (the licensing body for sex therapists) only lists 50 sex therapists in the state of Massachusetts.
I’m a licensed clinical social worker and sex therapist, and my specialty is providing treatment to patients with erotically marginalized identities. This means I offer a very niche sub-specialty, in the specialty field of sex therapy.
It’s important to me that patients who need this kind of specialty care, no matter where in the state of Massachusetts they live, can access it. Virtual therapy means patients can pop into my waiting room with a click of a button, no commute necessary!
It also means patients are more likely to be able to take time during their work day to attend therapy, because they are just stepping away from their desk for 50-minutes, rather than two full hours.
Lower Cost Without Compromising Care
Not renting an office means my business has fewer expenses, which means therapy with me costs less.
The average cost of private pay therapy in Massachusetts is $190.00 per session, whereas I charge $175.00 per session.
More Privacy for Sensitive Conversations
Online therapy offers an increased level of discretion. It means my patients don’t have to walk into an office that says “we talk about kinky sex here!” and they don’t have to risk seeing people they know in the waiting room.
I choose to live in Portland, Maine but maintain my license to see patients in Massachusetts to offer them an additional layer of privacy protection. We aren’t going to run into each other in the grocery store and it’s much less likely that we know any of the same people.
Comfort, Connection, and Cat Co-Workers
I absolutely love that my patients and I can both relax in the comfort and privacy of our own homes. I like to set the thermostat to 72 degrees in the winter, wear sweatpants, and give my 22-lbs cat the opportunity to jump into my lap whenever he wants, this is my optimal work environment, but for other people it would be a nightmare.
Online therapy means my patients and I can surround themselves with our own creature comforts, without distressing or inconveniencing each other.
Logging on to therapy from home also gives me a unique window into the lives of my patients. I learn things about their favorite snacks, and whether or not their home environment is supportive of their mental health.
Better Attendance, Fewer Cancellations
The best kind of therapy is the kind of therapy you’re able to attend as often as you need to in order to make progress. Since I switched to 100% remote therapy, I’ve noticed my patients are less likely to cancel visits, and so am I!
If one of us has a mild cold, we’re still able to meet. My patient can still see me if they’re allergic to Bouillabaisse (the aforementioned feline co-worker) and I can still see them if they’re a smoker or wearing products that contain methylisothiazolinone (both of which I’m super allergic to).
Virtual therapy increases accessibility for patients with chronic medical conditions, chronic pain, or recent injuries.
Evening Sessions Without the Safety Risks
When I was first working in community mental health, I would often be the last to leave the building, in the winter, when it was pitch black, and the parking lot lights were iffy. It was scary, and it made me reluctant to see patients after the sun went down.
In my private practice, where I am 100% virtual, I sometimes see patients as late as 8:30 PM. Virtual means neither of us have to worry about a creepy parking lot walk. Evening online therapy means I can offer increased access to patients that work traditional business hours.
Yes, Virtual Sex Therapy Really Works
On-line therapy is generally found to be as effective as in-person therapy. As a sex therapist, I’m able to use all the tools that I would use in an office setting, virtually. I also think the smidge of emotional distance helps people feel more comfortable talking about their sex lives.
I admit, when telehealth started to be implemented on an unprecedented scale during the pandemic, I was skeptical. But I’ve been pleasantly surprised! If a therapist has genuine regard for their patient, I think this translates over the internet. The feedback I get from my patients has been overwhelmingly positive, the consensus is that the pros outweigh the cons, and I’m thrilled to be able to offer a modality that works for me and my patients.
If you’re curious about virtual therapy, and looking for a sex therapist in Massachusetts, reach out, we’d love to show you the perks of online therapy
Sarah Chotkowski, LICSW | Kink-Aware Therapist in Massachusetts
Based in Western Massachusetts, Sarah is a therapist who specializes in treating patients from erotically marginalized communities. She is queer, LGBTQIA+ affirming, kink-aware, pleasure-positive, and passionate about working with people who practice Ethical Non-Monogamy/Polyamory and folks who have been or are involved in sex work.
